Anxiety Is Not My Friend.

Anxiety and depression suck!

Everything can be (and basically is) going so well but the feeling of foreboding just lingers like a bad smell.

Im having panic attacks just driving through town, anticipation of the expected blast of extra people that will inevitably be filling the town over the holidays.

The days are draaaaaagggging!

All energy is a beautiful, distant memory of days gone by when I could wake up one morning and decide to paint an entire room and have it done by evening.

All activities, big or small, take careful planning.

I want to stake the tomatoes? Better make sure I'm not working the next day in case my back seizes and I exhaust myself.

It's pathetic and destroying and frustrating and heartbreaking.

I am trying so hard to just be.

All the things I love to do, the things that make me who I am, just exhaust me at the thought.

Crocheting seems like running a marathon and aches my head.

I want to crochet but when I think about picking up some wool and a hook it seems too hard.

I am thankful to have finished the twin's blankets before their arrival.

I have the Dahlia yarn pack from Attic24 still tucked away.

The colours are screaming at me, my heart needs their warmth and vibrancy, but can I really be bothered?

The sun comes out to warm my bones but it's easier to lay in bed than sit on a chair out the back.

I force myself to make short trips to the beach for Son3, before the crowds arrive.

It's taken me this long to write a blog post and here I am, whinging.

As Son2 would say.. you want some cheese with that whine?

I hope I can look back at this post in the very near future and think, thank goodness I got through that.

Holidays are coming up.

I will be able to rest up, absorb the sunshine and moon glow, take my time and hopefully feel better.

Big apologies for a very negative post but better out than in, right?

🤍

A New Chapter

We woke on a Tuesday morning before the sun had risen, with a circus of anticipation pelting through our bodies.

It was the day we has waited a month for.

Excuse after reason after many sleepless nights of scary uncertainty, wondering if our family including our furry and feathered loves would be forced to separate if this day didn't come soon.

Office opening hours came and went with no word.

We paced.

Checked our phones for any missed calls or messages.

Then news.. we will meet at 1 o'clock.

My stars, we couldn't wait!

But then more reasons and excuses.

So much heartache for something that should have been  one of our happiest days.

But the inevitable happened.

Just much later in the day and month than we were told to expect. 

At 5.20pm on the 28th of September we were given the keys to our new family home!

I am so, so smitten with our new nest.

I unpacked quite quickly, filling the spaces with our beloved possessions wondering how on Earth I managed to fit it all in my previous little house. 

We have been so blessed to have the wonderful friends that we do, that generously offered space for storage.

I had potted plants I couldn't bear to part with taking up too much space in one friends backyard, along with towers of boxes in her shed. Our furniture was in another friends storage shed and all of our yard tools, shed contents and garden and outdoor items were at another location.

The chookies and ducks were at one house, Pooch Girl, Kitty Puss and us humans at another.

Even my indoor plants were having a long sleepover at another friends house!

Initially we expected to only need the storage space and roof over our heads for a week at the very most.

But one week turned into two.

And another.

It was hard not to feel like we were abusing our friendships by wearing out our welcome but our friends really shone for us and we will never forget their unconditional tolerance and support, and will always be there to return the kindness.

So here we are, settling in.

This is home now. 

It doesn't quite have that homely feel yet but I will bring it in time.

14 years in my last house, who's to say it won't take that long to turn this into our comfortable little haven?

But I know it won't.

There are countless moths that fly around the house at night.

This moth-girl loves it!

We have a fruiting mulberry tree and passionfruit vines.

The fruit trees that moved with us are thriving in their pots for now.

Some vegie seedlings are in.

Hedges ripped out and roses and natives take their place.

The chookies and ducks have a nice pen to share and are giving us lots of happy eggs.

Kitty Puss settled in incredibly fast.

And Pooch Girl.

Oh, my beautiful sweet girl.

Her 13 years seem to have caught up to her overnight and we have been advised that she is just on quality of life now.

Her arthritis has become so severe she drags her feet, her lady legs get crossed up while she walks, hearing is almost completely gone.. 

She still smiles and thumps her tail when she sees us.

She cannot sit up so we lie with her and let her nuzzle her nose into the folds of our elbows, giving herself the good scratch she can't use her legs for.

I have been off work this week with back problems so Pooch Girl and I rest together watching movies and working on rainbow baby blankets for twins.

I managed to finish Son3's rainbow blanket before the move, photos to come.

 

I also created two 9x5 entries for an annual auction one of our local art centres hold.

So great to have a designated space to make a colourful mess in now. 

And nobody had a problem with me claiming the office as my art room - hooray!

Alas, the bookcase is proving problematic. 

Too many books, not enough shelves, not high enough on the list of priorities.

The rain is falling heavy on the tin roof making me drowsy.

Kitty Puss is balled up beside me, already chasing moths around the land of dreams.

Time for me to join the rest of my snoring family...

🤍🤍🤍

Bush Heart

Hello Spring.

It is so good to know you have come to visit us.

Though I hope it isn't too long before you shoo the chilly days away for a while.

We have said our goodbyes to our little home but are not able to move into our new house and begin making it home yet.

So to fill some time while we wait for that day, we took a short bush walk by the lake.

So many different native orchids.

These are Caledonia's, and the first pic is just Onion Weed but too pretty to not to share.

Its amazing how spectacular nature can be.

This is a teeny tiny Purple Cockatoo orchid.

The Caledonia's are much the same size.

So delicate.

I think these littlies are common Fringed Lillies.

The wildflowers range from small as your thumbnail to the towering Grass Trees!

And such diverse shapes, like this beautiful Banksia flower!

The leaves are a bit spiky but the flowers are lovely soft.

There are oodles of Myrtle bushes all along the trail.

And the Golden Wattle, or Acacias, are one of my favourites. 

They have a sweet scent that floats along the breeze.

I was so excited a few years ago when I spotted these Spider Orchids for the first time.

I had no idea how close to town they are and just how many!

I did this walk maybe two weeks ago and the trail was abundant with them, but this time they had disappeared. 

Hopefully not picked by passers-by as they should be left for everyone to enjoy, and its illegal to pick wildflowers. 

The colours of these orchids, about the size of your palm, varies so intensely!

Its a beautiful walk to take.

Away from traffic and people.

Just listening to ducks, frogs, finches, willy wagtails...

You might bump into the odd kangaroo having a munch too!

Which reminds me, I have someone special to introduce you to...

This is Sunny!

Boof was at work a couple of weeks ago and passed a kangaroo on the side of the road that had been hit by a car and killed.

As he drove by he noticed some long legs poking out of its pouch, and they were moving!

He found a place to park his truck, unhooked his trailers and turned around to make the rescue. 

I met with him in town and took her home to keep her warm (the vet had no available wildlife carers for the weekend so we got to have her).

We learnt she is 7 months old and wasn't injured so she has a wonderful chance of recovering without her mama.

Sunny is the sweetest little love.

At midnight she was wide awake being a bit silly so I popped her on the floor to explore.

She began to hiss, looking for her mum so I sat with her.

She came to me, shnuggled my neck and used her paws to open the neck of my shirt and before I knew it, she had somersaulted into my tshirt where she remained for the night.

The next day we took her to a licensed carer and she has said we can babysit our Sunny on weekends when we settle into the new house.

We feel in love with Sunny and can't wait to see her again.

Well that is my Spring tale for you.

I hope you are as excited as I am about the amazing orchids.

What a find!

🤍🤍🤍

Daisies for Dinah

Ah, Winter.

It has been lovely having you around but I can feel you getting ready to move on.

The sunshine is getting warmer and there is Sring on the breeze.

I collect tiny daisy blossoms from the back garden and bring them inside to the dappled light that eases through the lace curtain in my bedroom.

Using the fingernail of my thumb, I gently snip off excess stem and lie each flower on some baking paper.

Then close them up safely in my heavy encyclopaedia of spells.

Soon they will be dried and pressed and will join their fellow blossoms on this beautiful natural hemp paper to create a sweet kitty print. Her name will be Dinah of course.

It will then be framed and hung in the guest room of our new house.

Did you notice that?

Our new house?

Thats right.

This beautiful little house built the year of the moon landing, using strong Jarrah timbers, that has kept my family safe and warm for the last 14 years will soon be a part of someone else's memories.

We made the decision, it is time.

We need more room.

I need a studio.

The boys deserve a bedroom each.

Boof needs a shed for his future boat.

So this will be the last post I write in this house.

It is bitter-sweet but I recently heard a phrase that eased my hearts ache...

"Memories belong to a person, not a house".

So with that in mind and excitement in my heart, we step forward on our journey to the next chapter. 

🤍🤍🤍

Dappled Winter Light

Winter at my little piece of Earth is mild in comparison to others.

It doesn't snow, the sun still shines down.

But that's not to say it doesn't get chilly cold. The wind howls. Everything is wet regardless of rain. And the days are short.

Perfect weather for having a crackling fire going. Pumpkin soup simmering away. 

Countless games of Cluedo and Kalaha with my boys.

Curling up under a crocheted blanket with a warm chai latte, reading a book (currently making my way through 'A Promised Land' by Barack Obama).

And working on new drawings.

My house is teeny, I dont have a 'studio' or designated work space, so I sprawl over my bed.

Copics, watercolour pencils, graphite pencils, brushes, tape, all my bits and bobs strewn all over and showered in eraser rubbings. 

The sunlight dapples as it shines in through the peppermint tree, hibiscus, Cape Bell tree, and other gardeny loves outside my window.

I drew this girl years ago and finally have made her into a full piece.

Warm tones.

Sparkly clouds of course.

'Carlotta' is now part of my wild rose family.

I am appreciating all the little things so much lately.

The dappled light.

The sound of the breeze through my garden.

The clouds directly over my house.

If I look through a small section of my front garden amongst tuart leaves and a grevillea, I can see the sun cast out strong bright rays as it makes its descent beyond the horizon.

From my backyard and giant kitchen window I can watch the clouds details reflect the colours of sunset.

I am a nature lover, not just flora and fauna, but the wonder of the sky as well.

These are small blessings I am grateful for.

🤍🤍🤍

The Tale of the Gypsy~Witch Girl

This is a tale of a girl.

A girl with dreams and imagination and hope and a fire inside.

She also has a gypsy~witch soul.

She is a free spirit connected to nature and content away from society.

Recently, something in her has changed.

Her fire still burns but now she can feel the flame.

There is a pain in her heart.

She is hurting so much.

She feels the need to run, but where?

How?

She screams at the moon with tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Help me!" she cries.

The pain is overwhelming.

Crushing.

She hopes her voice will carry to the clouds and beyond.

She needs the Universe's help.

And quietly, the Universe does indeed help.

A breeze picks up.

The girl breathes in the cool air.

It dries her tear soaked face and hair.

The clouds part from the moon.

The lunar glow washes over her body.

She calms for the moment.

Focussing on the beauty and wonder of the moon and stars.

She still feels the pain, but it has eased.

Acceptance flows through her broken heart.

Exhaustion steals her strength.

She feels numb now.

Surrendering to it all, she climbs the wooden steps to her wagon. 

Her Familiar waiting for the Girl's arrival.

Together they curl up safe, warm and content with each others company.

The pillows curl around in a nest.

The heavy blanket fluffs over her.

The wind outside blows through the trees.

The moonbeams stream in the window.

The Universe is protecting her.

Always.

🤍🤍🤍

Beach Baby Blanket

Hello again.

I just wanted to pop in quickly to share some pictures of a recent project.

A coastal blanket for a coastal baby.

Bub is due in August and I didnt want to begin this blanket until I finished Son3's, but his is taking me much longer than I expected.

Being a cloudy day, the colours of the water weren't at their peak but the light teal.. green.. whatever the name of that colour, was a great match! 

On a sunny day the blues are so clear and vibrant.

Our slice of the Southern Ocean is what our town is most known for.

The sands are so clean and fine too.

A beach not far has sand so fine that it squeaks when you walk on the wet sand.

I tried to follow the pattern for this blanket but it had a special stitch involved that I just could not get my head around so I copied the picture and after undoing my first attempt, it turned out alright in the end.

This is the pattern for the Vintage Vibes Blanket and here is the link to the Wave Edging I used.

Let me know if you give it a go!

Im home today with a list of chores and nursing a cold that came on yesterday.

Once the chores are done I hope to snuggle under my Gypsy Blanket, continue working on Son3's blanket, finish up a snail mail package for a good friend in the States, and read some more of my current book (A Promised Land by Barack Obama).

Still sounds busy.

Enjoy your Friday!