Lemonee, Lemonah

Today I have been reflecting on what a year it has been.

I have said goodbye to my beautiful girls and still have moments where my heart catches in my throat when I remember something they did, or if I think they have entered the room (maybe they have - I hope that they do).

My emotional health became very unwell due to my job. I lost my inner joy and peace. I forgot who I was.

A change was necessary.

So I pulled up my big-girl trousers and took myself into a company to apply for a position. 

Things must have gone well because I have now been working there for three weeks!

I am a totally different person to the one I was 2 months ago.

I am painting again, noticing the stars, enjoying the clouds, baking, reading, and SMILING!!!

I was actually startled during my first day at the new job because I laughed... it had been so long!!

*happy, content sigh*

Before I began my new chapter, Boof and I took a trip to the river. The picture above was the sunrise I got up to watch. Kookaburras were cackling right outside our window.

I stopped in at my faaaavourite Cafe.

Everything on the menu is vegan, and while I am a pescatarian that simply prefers the taste of soy milk to cows, I love love love the options here! 

And the decor is relaxed retro/vintage/boho. 

It is such a comfortable place to tuck up on the couch and enjoy a soy chai latte and a jackfruit Reuben!

Boofs mum and dad have a beautiful garden and let me take home a huuuuge box of lemons! The same day we got home I busied myself making oodles of lemon cordial.

Thin slices, dehydrated in the oven to add to a cup of black tea.

Or a jug of iced tea.

Of course there was lemon pie...

And gooey lemon bars!

Now i am a bit lemon'd out so have spent the last 2 weekends making mulberry jam from our tree. No pics though, I forgot. Today I picked 2.5kgs of fruit!

Last year the fruit was very small and dry. This year with a bit of love they are enormous, super juice and lovely sweet.

The flowers have been  going bananas! I have been picking roses to bring inside (a dream I've held tight for years!). The foxgloves and hollyhocks are booming!

I spotted Mr Moth while exploring the depths of my bit of nature.

When all the chores are done -or even if they aren't and I just ignore them - I pick up the Dahlia blanket again. This one will only be a throw so not too big. Ooh those colours!

Springtime is finally arriving and we have had some beautiful days, though my shoulders feel a bit sunburnt.. must've been while I was picking mulberries. 

Til next time...

🤍🤍🤍

Kitty-Puss, My Heart

My beautiful, sweet Scribble has made her journey to the clouds.

The awful c word has spread to her lungs and progressed faster than expected.

The regular coughing fits became harder for her to recover from and to save her from suffering, we had to make the gut-wrenching decision.

Our Vet is an amazing, compassionate person and let us take Scribble home for one last night together.

On Wednesday morning I sat on the couch crocheting a cardigan, Scribble curled on my lap and we watched one of my favourite movies together (Twister).

We were so alike, Scribble and I, both quite easily scared. We sat patiently waiting for the TV to load Netflix, and when the intro sound thumped out we both got a fright and jumped.

When spent the whole morning cuddled together until she began to cough severely and I knew I couldn't let her struggle to breathe anymore.

Her journey to the clouds was so, so peaceful.

For that I am grateful.

No more suffering, my beautiful pussy-cat. 

It rips my heart anew when I expect to see her somewhere and then realise she isn't, and won't ever be again.

She loved soaking up the afternoon sun from our bedroom window sill.

And her favourite place to sleep during the day is right up in my banana shaped pillows.

Her favourite blanket was the teal throw I made with super-quick yarn so I bought another ball to make her a piece of the blanket to take with her.

On our last afternoon we caught the last of the afternoon sunrays together.

I buried her near the new clothesline I built a couple of weeks ago, and made a garden bed on top of her resting place. In the garden I have planted dahlias, snapdragons and a beautiful orange climbing rose.

Scribbles garden.

I cant decide how I feel.

I am definitely heart broken but I think I am angry.

So angry.

These sweet little creatures love us and it's our duty to provide them the best life they could dream for, but in the end, we can't put off the inevitable.

Scribble I am so sorry. You truly were the perfect companion and I hope you liked your life with me.

🤍🤍🤍

I'm Still Here

It has been a long time since I've felt like writing.

Saying goodbye to Venus really knocked me for a loop and I tucked myself away, thinking nothing was worth saying. 

But I have been quietly busy, teaching myself new skills.

I have given embroidery a go and despite my lack of patience and preferring fast results, I love sitting quietly, threading the fabric with colour.

I caught covid and when I wasn't in bed sleeping it off, I was tucked up on the couch watching documentaries and series, working away on the countless projects on the go.

My friend is having a baby in October so I made her a Call The Midwife inspired blanket.

And booties from my Nanna's vintage pattern. I'd like to make the whole set but people don't seem to dress their babies in bonnets and mittens any more.

Another friend had twins! So for her I made matching blankets.

Her tiny baby girls can both fit under one blanket at the moment. Too cute!

I've made a couple of dresses for myself. 

I used jersey stretch to make this 2 panel dress. 

By panel I mean back and front! 

No other seams that the shoulders and sides.

Perfectly simple!

I've become obsessed with ribbons and lace and made myself two of these flanelette nightdresses. The other has long sleeves. I didn't use a pattern, just winged it, as I do, and am so please with how it turned out. My boys call them ghost nighties.

The garden has been a very slow point which saddens me because i get so much joy from having a garden.

This giant bed was here when we bought this house last year but I want raised beds as I'm not getting any younger, and high walls will make it a bit harder for chooks and ducks to munch my vegies!

So sand was trucked in and leveled out.

And slowly the grass runners I plant are spreading to give a nice lawned area to enjoy in summer. Toward the fence I will have my raised beds which I excited will order in a couple of weeks. Then I can get back into the joy of growing my food.

Now some unhappy news.

My heartbreak of losing a furry love will be happening again very soon.

Kitty-puss had a large lump on her chest that was removed and sent for testing which came back with the worst results.

Cancer.

An xray was done and has shown that it has spread to her lungs.

The original expectancy of 12 months has been reduced to 6-8 weeks.

So my beautiful, 13 year old Scribble is getting her favourite cooked chicken as often as she likes, and having all the snuggle naps with me we can manage in between work and chores.

It's just not fair.

Im not sure if I have he strength to go through another loss, especially so soon after Venus, but I have no choice.

I must keep in mind that I have tried to give them the best possible lives they could have, and maybe I'll see them again one day.

Beyond the iridescent rainbow clouds.

🤍🤍🤍

Love is Forever

My beautiful, sweet Pooch Girl has made her journey over the rainbow bridge.

My heart is broken in a way I don't think it will ever mend.

Every day I wake up hoping it was just a horrible nightmare.

My eyes blink awake.

My mind stirs back to reality.

And through the fog it hits my heart with a punch.

I sift through photos and sob, wishing I could lay on the floor and snuggle with her forever.

The joy she brought to my life recorded in pictures, to remind me of our fun and love.

The day I was painting the hallway at the old house and she walked by, brushing against the wet paint.

Not only did she stripe herself but she also left behind an incredible amount of fur on the wall of wet paint. 

So funny.

Such a gentle soul.

Would sit patiently to have her picture taken before simply putting her head down to take my sunglasses off.

She didn't choose the vogue life, the vogue life chose her.

Among many favourite treats were prawn crackers.

Pizza crusts too.

I like to think she is still going for happy rides in the car with me, the wind blowing into her face. Gosh, she loved it.

As a puppy she wasn't too mischievous. 

The one cheeky thing I remember her doing was frequently chewing on a potted blackberry bush.

It thrived despite.

As the years continued she remained a gentle, sweet soul.

So loyal and devoted. 

Content to just be close and holding me with one paw.

My sweet lady.

How to go on without her?

I make a point of not using real names in my blog but I want to share my Pooch Girl's. 

Please send a little prayer to the stars for my sweet Venus.

Remember her too.

Oh, Venus.

I will be with you again one day, having wonderful cuddles-cuddles.

Goodbye Venus, my booful girl.

Zinnia Loves & Autumn Feels

Autumn is knocking at the door.

I welcome its cool air wholly as a break from the delayed but sudden heat of summer.

I open the door at let it in to fill my heart and home.

It brings with it promise of kinder days ahead.

Days with iridescent rainbow clouds.

Clusters of Soul Sister roses.

I think the soul sister that gifted me this rose for my birthday last year sprinkled a bit of her gypsy, hippie, witchy magic on it while sneaking a surprise package into my letterbox this week.

How else do you explain such luscious blooms?!

I think some of her magic dust blew onto the zinnias too.

Such pops of colour.

The world needs it.

Beautiful frozen fireworks that no bee or butterfly could resist.

Fairy umbrellas or parasols?

Their tutu fabric?

This one reminds me of a sea anemone.

And this one of the singing flowers in Alice's Wonderland garden.

Ahh.. all in a golden afternoon.

These pinkies keep my climbing rose company as it makes its journey over the archway by the gate.

Autumn has crept silently into my life for another year and I am so grateful.

My favourite time of year. 

It's almost as though everything slows down so much and becomes quiet enough to hear the Earth taking a breath.

I was inspired to sew myself some skirts.

Complete with wide elastic belting to cover my mum-tum and 'love' handles.

Having a short torso, huge sticky-outty handles and long legs makes it hard to fit nicely into clothes and cause many pouty days of dressing tantrums, and a lingering feeling a being nothing more than a lump ol' caterpillar. 

But sewing these skirts to suit my body type, my style and comfort makes me feel like I've transformed into a butterfly!

Way to go me, for lifting my own spirits, being motivated and creative.

I sit in my slowly evolving nest, safe space, home and garden and watch the sky declare it is dusk.

I take in the colours, the brisk air, the birds settling in for the night, the peace.

Then inside I go.

To serve a lovingly cooked meal to my family (another accomplishment, cooking and I have had a bitter hiatus but I'm forcing myself to be better - I repeat.. anxiety sucks!)

I shower and maybe watch some TV with Boof while I work on some new twinsy blankets.

Or I crawl straight into bed and if the day hasn't taken too much out of me, I'll read a chapter or two. 

Currently The women's Doc by Caroline De Costa.

But very soon my eyes sting with tiredness so I turn off the light and daydream until sleep finds me for its midnight mind movies.

Goodnight, Earth.

🤍🤍🤍