Life As I Know It

Another day off work.

Feels like I've had more time off this year than I've actually turned up.

Not true but I still don't like taking so much time off.

But when the kids are sick and I'm not much better, these things must be done.

So today means for me, lots of cooking, cleaning, reading and movies.

I am a few chapters into Chris Hammer's 'Srcublands' and enjoying it a lot. My only complaint is it's quite heavy to hold over my face during bedtime-pre-sleep reading.

I read Still Life With Woodpecker.

Not at all what I expected but I'll probably read it again one day.

Cedar Valley by Holly Throsby was a fast, easy read. I really liked the relatability of the small town and it's characters. Thumbs up.

I also read Ugly by Robert Hoge. He was born with a tumour on his forehead, causing his face to be deformed.. (I hate that word).. his legs were too. His memoir is really inspiring and uplifting, a good reminder to be compassionate and non-judgy.  

I  have this really big, beautiful Tuart tree in my front yard.

I love it to pieces but unfortunately it made pieces of my front fence so had to be trimmed.

Trimmed is too nice a word to use.

It got cut back so heavily it looks like a giant totem pole sticking out of my driveway.

I was so sad and bitter to think I'd lost all my shade and the birds wouldn't visit anymore.

(Then the Universe took my Dad away and really gave me something to cry over).

But I've actually had more feathered visitors now than when it had leaves and blossoms and whatever else birds like to eat!

Pink and Grey Galahs...

Carnaby Cockatoos..

And a staunch Magpie.

I love watching them and feel a little honoured when they choose to stop over in my garden.

Silly as that sounds.

I'm noticing the sky a lot more lately.

Maybe because the tree is gone..

Maybe because I've had a lot of time off work at home..

Dunno..

Better hang out the washing and all that fun stuff.

A friend recently re-inspired me to get back to work on my gypsy blanket so I have managed a few more rows.

I have decided to call it stops when I have used all of my old balls of wool, which means if I stop goosing around it could be on my bed this winter!

Enjoy your day

❤❤❤

What title could I possibly give this post?

A month ago I received the worst phone call of my life.

My Dad had gone.

My world became, is, and always will be hollow and broken.

I'm sure time will make it hurt less but my heart will never heal.

I will carry regret like the weight of the world for the rest of days.

I wish so hard that I could turn back time and not argue or hold grudges, or that we could've made peace with each other much sooner than we did.

I wish I could tell him the words ' I'm sorry', even though he knew I was, and I know he was.

It's too late for wishes.

We had three wonderful final months.

We texted almost every day.

We spoke on the phone at least once a week.

We were looking forward to visiting each other.

That's what's important now.

And that I be the best person I can be, learned from these lessons.

I'm trying to get myself together.

I'm trying to breathe.

This will take time. 

I found one of my favourite songs sung by my all time favourite musician.

I will think of Dad every time I hear it.

This is us.