Lemonee, Lemonah

Today I have been reflecting on what a year it has been.

I have said goodbye to my beautiful girls and still have moments where my heart catches in my throat when I remember something they did, or if I think they have entered the room (maybe they have - I hope that they do).

My emotional health became very unwell due to my job. I lost my inner joy and peace. I forgot who I was.

A change was necessary.

So I pulled up my big-girl trousers and took myself into a company to apply for a position. 

Things must have gone well because I have now been working there for three weeks!

I am a totally different person to the one I was 2 months ago.

I am painting again, noticing the stars, enjoying the clouds, baking, reading, and SMILING!!!

I was actually startled during my first day at the new job because I laughed... it had been so long!!

*happy, content sigh*

Before I began my new chapter, Boof and I took a trip to the river. The picture above was the sunrise I got up to watch. Kookaburras were cackling right outside our window.

I stopped in at my faaaavourite Cafe.

Everything on the menu is vegan, and while I am a pescatarian that simply prefers the taste of soy milk to cows, I love love love the options here! 

And the decor is relaxed retro/vintage/boho. 

It is such a comfortable place to tuck up on the couch and enjoy a soy chai latte and a jackfruit Reuben!

Boofs mum and dad have a beautiful garden and let me take home a huuuuge box of lemons! The same day we got home I busied myself making oodles of lemon cordial.

Thin slices, dehydrated in the oven to add to a cup of black tea.

Or a jug of iced tea.

Of course there was lemon pie...

And gooey lemon bars!

Now i am a bit lemon'd out so have spent the last 2 weekends making mulberry jam from our tree. No pics though, I forgot. Today I picked 2.5kgs of fruit!

Last year the fruit was very small and dry. This year with a bit of love they are enormous, super juice and lovely sweet.

The flowers have been  going bananas! I have been picking roses to bring inside (a dream I've held tight for years!). The foxgloves and hollyhocks are booming!

I spotted Mr Moth while exploring the depths of my bit of nature.

When all the chores are done -or even if they aren't and I just ignore them - I pick up the Dahlia blanket again. This one will only be a throw so not too big. Ooh those colours!

Springtime is finally arriving and we have had some beautiful days, though my shoulders feel a bit sunburnt.. must've been while I was picking mulberries. 

Til next time...

🤍🤍🤍

I'm Still Here

It has been a long time since I've felt like writing.

Saying goodbye to Venus really knocked me for a loop and I tucked myself away, thinking nothing was worth saying. 

But I have been quietly busy, teaching myself new skills.

I have given embroidery a go and despite my lack of patience and preferring fast results, I love sitting quietly, threading the fabric with colour.

I caught covid and when I wasn't in bed sleeping it off, I was tucked up on the couch watching documentaries and series, working away on the countless projects on the go.

My friend is having a baby in October so I made her a Call The Midwife inspired blanket.

And booties from my Nanna's vintage pattern. I'd like to make the whole set but people don't seem to dress their babies in bonnets and mittens any more.

Another friend had twins! So for her I made matching blankets.

Her tiny baby girls can both fit under one blanket at the moment. Too cute!

I've made a couple of dresses for myself. 

I used jersey stretch to make this 2 panel dress. 

By panel I mean back and front! 

No other seams that the shoulders and sides.

Perfectly simple!

I've become obsessed with ribbons and lace and made myself two of these flanelette nightdresses. The other has long sleeves. I didn't use a pattern, just winged it, as I do, and am so please with how it turned out. My boys call them ghost nighties.

The garden has been a very slow point which saddens me because i get so much joy from having a garden.

This giant bed was here when we bought this house last year but I want raised beds as I'm not getting any younger, and high walls will make it a bit harder for chooks and ducks to munch my vegies!

So sand was trucked in and leveled out.

And slowly the grass runners I plant are spreading to give a nice lawned area to enjoy in summer. Toward the fence I will have my raised beds which I excited will order in a couple of weeks. Then I can get back into the joy of growing my food.

Now some unhappy news.

My heartbreak of losing a furry love will be happening again very soon.

Kitty-puss had a large lump on her chest that was removed and sent for testing which came back with the worst results.

Cancer.

An xray was done and has shown that it has spread to her lungs.

The original expectancy of 12 months has been reduced to 6-8 weeks.

So my beautiful, 13 year old Scribble is getting her favourite cooked chicken as often as she likes, and having all the snuggle naps with me we can manage in between work and chores.

It's just not fair.

Im not sure if I have he strength to go through another loss, especially so soon after Venus, but I have no choice.

I must keep in mind that I have tried to give them the best possible lives they could have, and maybe I'll see them again one day.

Beyond the iridescent rainbow clouds.

🤍🤍🤍

Anxiety Is Not My Friend.

Anxiety and depression suck!

Everything can be (and basically is) going so well but the feeling of foreboding just lingers like a bad smell.

Im having panic attacks just driving through town, anticipation of the expected blast of extra people that will inevitably be filling the town over the holidays.

The days are draaaaaagggging!

All energy is a beautiful, distant memory of days gone by when I could wake up one morning and decide to paint an entire room and have it done by evening.

All activities, big or small, take careful planning.

I want to stake the tomatoes? Better make sure I'm not working the next day in case my back seizes and I exhaust myself.

It's pathetic and destroying and frustrating and heartbreaking.

I am trying so hard to just be.

All the things I love to do, the things that make me who I am, just exhaust me at the thought.

Crocheting seems like running a marathon and aches my head.

I want to crochet but when I think about picking up some wool and a hook it seems too hard.

I am thankful to have finished the twin's blankets before their arrival.

I have the Dahlia yarn pack from Attic24 still tucked away.

The colours are screaming at me, my heart needs their warmth and vibrancy, but can I really be bothered?

The sun comes out to warm my bones but it's easier to lay in bed than sit on a chair out the back.

I force myself to make short trips to the beach for Son3, before the crowds arrive.

It's taken me this long to write a blog post and here I am, whinging.

As Son2 would say.. you want some cheese with that whine?

I hope I can look back at this post in the very near future and think, thank goodness I got through that.

Holidays are coming up.

I will be able to rest up, absorb the sunshine and moon glow, take my time and hopefully feel better.

Big apologies for a very negative post but better out than in, right?

🤍

A New Chapter

We woke on a Tuesday morning before the sun had risen, with a circus of anticipation pelting through our bodies.

It was the day we has waited a month for.

Excuse after reason after many sleepless nights of scary uncertainty, wondering if our family including our furry and feathered loves would be forced to separate if this day didn't come soon.

Office opening hours came and went with no word.

We paced.

Checked our phones for any missed calls or messages.

Then news.. we will meet at 1 o'clock.

My stars, we couldn't wait!

But then more reasons and excuses.

So much heartache for something that should have been  one of our happiest days.

But the inevitable happened.

Just much later in the day and month than we were told to expect. 

At 5.20pm on the 28th of September we were given the keys to our new family home!

I am so, so smitten with our new nest.

I unpacked quite quickly, filling the spaces with our beloved possessions wondering how on Earth I managed to fit it all in my previous little house. 

We have been so blessed to have the wonderful friends that we do, that generously offered space for storage.

I had potted plants I couldn't bear to part with taking up too much space in one friends backyard, along with towers of boxes in her shed. Our furniture was in another friends storage shed and all of our yard tools, shed contents and garden and outdoor items were at another location.

The chookies and ducks were at one house, Pooch Girl, Kitty Puss and us humans at another.

Even my indoor plants were having a long sleepover at another friends house!

Initially we expected to only need the storage space and roof over our heads for a week at the very most.

But one week turned into two.

And another.

It was hard not to feel like we were abusing our friendships by wearing out our welcome but our friends really shone for us and we will never forget their unconditional tolerance and support, and will always be there to return the kindness.

So here we are, settling in.

This is home now. 

It doesn't quite have that homely feel yet but I will bring it in time.

14 years in my last house, who's to say it won't take that long to turn this into our comfortable little haven?

But I know it won't.

There are countless moths that fly around the house at night.

This moth-girl loves it!

We have a fruiting mulberry tree and passionfruit vines.

The fruit trees that moved with us are thriving in their pots for now.

Some vegie seedlings are in.

Hedges ripped out and roses and natives take their place.

The chookies and ducks have a nice pen to share and are giving us lots of happy eggs.

Kitty Puss settled in incredibly fast.

And Pooch Girl.

Oh, my beautiful sweet girl.

Her 13 years seem to have caught up to her overnight and we have been advised that she is just on quality of life now.

Her arthritis has become so severe she drags her feet, her lady legs get crossed up while she walks, hearing is almost completely gone.. 

She still smiles and thumps her tail when she sees us.

She cannot sit up so we lie with her and let her nuzzle her nose into the folds of our elbows, giving herself the good scratch she can't use her legs for.

I have been off work this week with back problems so Pooch Girl and I rest together watching movies and working on rainbow baby blankets for twins.

I managed to finish Son3's rainbow blanket before the move, photos to come.

 

I also created two 9x5 entries for an annual auction one of our local art centres hold.

So great to have a designated space to make a colourful mess in now. 

And nobody had a problem with me claiming the office as my art room - hooray!

Alas, the bookcase is proving problematic. 

Too many books, not enough shelves, not high enough on the list of priorities.

The rain is falling heavy on the tin roof making me drowsy.

Kitty Puss is balled up beside me, already chasing moths around the land of dreams.

Time for me to join the rest of my snoring family...

🤍🤍🤍

Beach Baby Blanket

Hello again.

I just wanted to pop in quickly to share some pictures of a recent project.

A coastal blanket for a coastal baby.

Bub is due in August and I didnt want to begin this blanket until I finished Son3's, but his is taking me much longer than I expected.

Being a cloudy day, the colours of the water weren't at their peak but the light teal.. green.. whatever the name of that colour, was a great match! 

On a sunny day the blues are so clear and vibrant.

Our slice of the Southern Ocean is what our town is most known for.

The sands are so clean and fine too.

A beach not far has sand so fine that it squeaks when you walk on the wet sand.

I tried to follow the pattern for this blanket but it had a special stitch involved that I just could not get my head around so I copied the picture and after undoing my first attempt, it turned out alright in the end.

This is the pattern for the Vintage Vibes Blanket and here is the link to the Wave Edging I used.

Let me know if you give it a go!

Im home today with a list of chores and nursing a cold that came on yesterday.

Once the chores are done I hope to snuggle under my Gypsy Blanket, continue working on Son3's blanket, finish up a snail mail package for a good friend in the States, and read some more of my current book (A Promised Land by Barack Obama).

Still sounds busy.

Enjoy your Friday! 

Take Me Back to the River in the Forest

Oh, the river by the forest.

Thats the place for me.

The magic is so strong and pure.

My heart goes silly with inspiration. 

Even my terror of pelicans can't take away the joy I feel here.

Sorry fellas, no fishy snacks from me.

Son2 and I drank sweet handfuls of this magical fresh waterfall flowing onto the beach.

Feeling Mother Nature smiling at our grateful, cheesy grins, dripping with water.

Rainbows are always a gift, but just look at the stunning shades of blue peaking through the clouds.

And the ocean, wowsers.

I took the ocean palette to create a baby blanket which I worked on by the river.

It is finished and will recieve a post of its own after a photo shoot.

Goodbye to the forest and river were inevitable but one day I will call it home, though my heart already does.

At home I found my own rainbows.

When things go bad, sometimes all you can do is breathe through it.

Which is what I've been doing this last week.

So many what ifs, but an overwhelming gratitude for all that we have.

So keep doing what you do, look for the rainbows and make sure to breathe!

🤍🤍🤍